February 5, 2018No Comments

Can a mum miss her work?

You become a mum. Your life suddenly changes sharply and you try to adapt to the new lifestyle.  You thought that birth was the most difficult thing in your life. But then, you also need to keep your little baby alive, not to mention to eat or shower sometimes.

But you say to yourself, I will survive!

Different camps

Something you were not ready for, is the crowd of mums waiting at your door, to get you in their club. Surprisingly, you will be pushed very fast to decide:

  • Are you going to breastfeed?
  • Babywearing?
  • Are you going to give vaccines?
  • Will your child eat jars?

Mums will categorise you very fast and you will join the clubs accordingly. So pick the camps wisely!

Something is missing

At some point, you and your child will find some balance and you will start enjoying sleeping again. After all, the adrenaline of first months wears off some mums will start feeling little bug growing inside them.

At first, you will have no idea what is this strange feeling that tells you it is all not enough. It will dig a hole in your guts and grow until you feel sad that this little evil creature is not enough for you.

You will miss the most important camp along the way. The camp of purpose, fulfilment, ambitions, and passion.

Because who likes to work?

There are few people in this world that enjoy their work or any other passion like painting, dancing, or driving a bus. It is something that defines who they are and how they live. It is making them smile every day as some other people would enjoy shopping or travelling.

You are a bad mum

You slowly realise what is missing in your life. It is a purpose other than keeping the baby alive. You start to feel guilty. Suddenly all the mum clubs join their scary forces against you. Because how could you say that raising this beautiful creature has no purpose?

Well, it does. Just different. It is a different part of you. That is the new you. But you can’t just delete your past and who you were before. You feel different. You feel like a horrible mum now.

You need a hero

Everyone expects from you to put on a fake smile while your toddler is throwing mashed food back at your face. You feel depressed because it is so hard to explain the bug inside you and all other mums seem to enjoy staying at home with kids. You need someone who knows you well and will support you.

You need a hero.

My hero was my husband, who agreed to hire cleaning work and occasional babysitting. Slowly I invested all the earnings in outsourcing the work I didn’t enjoy doing like cleaning and accounting. This gave me few extra hours a week for my work.

Working mums camp

The second miracle was to open my eyes and see that there are other mums like me. Meeting working mums was the biggest relief I have felt for a very long time. The small bug that was eating my guts was gone. They knew what I am talking about. They understood me and they supported me. They didn’t judge me. They accepted me for who I am now (a mum) and who I was before (a Graphic Designer).

Secret to parenting

Anyone who tells you that he/she knows the secret to parenting is lying. Everyone who claims to be a better parent than you is lying. You need to find your own balance. Be happy first. If you are happy the whole family will be.

As long as your child doesn’t drink vodka for breakfast you will find your own ways to live a happy life together. Sometimes it is better to spend one hour less per day with your child and give him or her a high-quality rest of the day. Kids feel our energy and reflect it back to us.

Conclusion

A mum will have many challenges on her way. On top of that, she can miss her passions and work. It won’t be easy to find a family balance but it is possible to join the working mums camp and support each other. Or don’t join any camp. Just don’t let others define or judge you without knowing you. Just be a happy mum. There is always a way to be happy.

One solution could be working from home and sharing your time between kids and work. Few useful articles below:

Letter To Working Mothers: Stop Feeling So Guilty

5 Tips for Working from Home with a Squeaky Baby

4 Essential Things to Start a Website

4 Mobile Apps to Stay Organised at Work

What to Expect from Home Office When You Are Expecting

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5 Tips for Working from Home with a Squeaky Baby

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October 17, 2016No Comments

When to Stop Being a Superwoman?

A superwoman?

I am not saying that I am one. I just feel like it. I manage to do super cool house stuff, work freelance from home and take care of my giant growing belly. Every hour I manage to take a 5-10 minutes break for exercising or cooking for my husband. When everything is done at the end of the day I sit with my well-deserved ice-cream and I feel really good that so many things have been done. I just feel like a superwoman.

On tough days, though, I just let it go. Because I know for a fact that you can't do two things at the same time for 100%.

I love it

I love the rush, the multitasking and being active all the time. I never failed on anyone, I leave my clients happy and do everything within the deadlines. My husband also claims to be happy (he might be afraid though to say differently to a pregnant woman). My baby can't speak so far but the doctor is also surprised at my regular checkups, parental lessons, exercises done, baby knowledge gained and healthy meals cooked. I feel like a superwoman.

I hate it

hippopotamus

Sometimes my husband eats burned food and his shirts get pink in the washing. I don't manage to write as many blog posts or design as many shop items as I would like. I never get time to improve my own website. I also don't always get enough exercise for that 9 months belly of mine and become a giant hippopotamus. Not to mention all this girls stuff: shopping, thinking of fancy clothes or God forgive me fixing my hair when walking out with the dog. There are days when I think of all this. And it feels bad. I just wish this times to be more normal!

Stop being super

Whenever I get the moment of I hate it and I realize that I just can't be perfect in everything I am starting to doubt myself and feel anxious if it is all worth it and if I should not give up on something.

What I learned in the past few months is just to let it go. It is OK to be frustrated, have doubts and be scared of the future. Everyone is. But at the end of the day, whatever I do is always better than doing nothing and I will always be a step closer to my personal life and career goals.

So for a day or two in a month I just stop being super. I let my husband feel sorry for me, feed me more ice-cream and remind me how cool some things I did are. I cook pasta and I start to remind myself how grateful I should be for this possibility to work from home and be my own boss. How cool is it going to be when my baby is born and I will be able to spend more time with him, while still feeling fulfilled at work.

Working hard is super

Because working hard to achieve your goals and have more time in the future with your kids is super. So if you are also a freelance working mama, you are super. No matter how little successful you are, you are super. No matter how many times you will fail, you are super. As long as you don't give up you are a superwoman.

Superwoman rules

  1. When your kids need it, just take off. After all, you choose the freelance job for this. To have more time for kids.
  2. Appreciate the time you have.
  3. Don't give up

Do you feel like a superwoman too? Let me know and share your story!

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Navy, beige, cherry, purple seem perfect for a fitness gym branding or the sports equipment as it has plenty of energy coming from it!

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